Playing Smaller Than the Room

There’s something I tell every senior leader in their first session with me. Almost word for word.

I tell them: I’m not here to make you into someone different. I’m here to help you see yourself more accurately.
Because here’s what I’ve learned in 20+ years of doing this work.

Most of the senior leaders who come to me aren’t underperforming. They’re under-seeing themselves. They have a story about who they are and what they’re capable of that’s three or four years out of date and they’re making decisions based on that old story.

They’re playing smaller than the room they’re in.

Or they’re trying to be a version of leader they read about, instead of the version of leader they actually are.

My job isn’t to add anything new. It’s to reflect back what’s already there with enough clarity that they can use it on Monday morning.

That’s why I lead with empathy and then push hard. The empathy is so you trust me enough to be honest. The push is so the work actually moves.

If that sounds like the kind of room you’ve been needing — one where you’re seen accurately and pushed honestly — then you might be in the right place.

And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Coaching isn’t for everyone. But the senior leaders who do well in it usually recognize themselves in that description.